Alan and I have been mates for a few years now; we used to live in the same village. Back in 2002 Alan was living in Ilkley, a town about 15 miles from me. We’d meet up for a drink every month or so, this wasn’t on any set timetable, one would just ring the other. We’d usually alternate when I’d drive over there or he’d drive over here. This meant the driver was stuck to only a couple of pints in order not to fall foul of the drink drive laws. Alan is a divorcee and was in his late 40s, we shared common interests of boats and motorcycling. Also he would accompany me whilst flying my Microlight aircraft. What he didn’t share with me was my belief in life after death and a Creator. Alan had been brought up in a successful devout Irish Catholic family. On going to university he had left any faith he had behind, reasoning that any intelligent logical person would have to put science before the ramblings of the religious nutters.

It was late spring and I hadn’t heard from Alan for a couple of months. I hadn’t thought of ringing him as the last time we’d met I’d gone over to Ilkley and putting it mildly, he’d been very bad company. He’d seemed to have other things on his mind, he didn’t seem to be listening to what I was saying and didn’t seem to want to say a lot himself. I’d made my excuses and left early thinking to myself that it felt like he’d taken umbrage at something I‘d said or done.

Mid morning one Tuesday at work I had a call from Alan, he asked if I’d call over to see him? Not being one to mince my words I told him that the last time I’d gone over he’d been plain ignorant so if he wanted to go for a drink he’d have to come over here. His reply was to take me back, In a weak voice he said “my therapist has told me that I must let my close friends know the problems I’m having, if I don’t I wont have any friends”. I replied “No problem mate I’ll be over tonight at about 8”. I came of the phone kicking myself, what sort of sensitive am I ? My close mate was obviously suffering with severe depression and I’d just thought he was being a miserable pratt.

That evening after tea I set off for the drive over to Ilkley. It was a beautiful sunny evening and I could smell the country fragrances as I drove across Ilkley Moor. As I looked out over Ilkley I could see for miles right up Wharfedale. The hills of the dales were silhouetted by the setting sun. My appreciation of this beautiful scene was brought to an abrupt end when I felt the spirit presence in the car of Barbra Steele. Barbra had only passed some 10 months before, in life she’d been a retired Matron at Bradford Royal Infirmary. People who knew her during her working life tell me she could be something of an oga. I found this hard to believe as I’d always found her to be a very caring and companionate soul. She was also under 5 foot tall and very slightly built, not oga material to me.

She announced with authority. “Its his brother you know! He’s stuck too him”. At that it came back to me that about 6 months earlier Alan had told me that his brother had died. He’d been about 12 years older than Alan and I understand they hadn’t been particularly close. I’d never met the bloke, and Alan had said very little about him.




Alan was living in a large flat (apartment) above a shop on the upmarket main street of Ilkley. When he let me in he certainly didn’t look at his best, the spark was gone from him. We went through to the lounge and I asked him “what’s up then mate?”

He went on to explain everything had been fine, even his work had been coming together well until he’d got a phone call from the police that his brother Shane had been found dead at home. They had asked him if he could go up and identify him before they moved the body. He’d gone straight away and identified him but as soon as he’d left he’d felt a blackness descend over him that’s been with him ever since. He couldn’t understand why though, as he and Shane had never been at all close. His work was suffering terribly as he was finding it imposable to focus and get anything done. He was popped up too his eye balls on antidepressants and feared he’d end up in the loony bin. I didn’t mention what Barbra Steele had told me earlier, but just asked him if he wanted me to have a go with my mumbo jumbo. (Mumbo jumbo was how Alan would sarcastically refer to my spiritual work). He replied in his present state he’d try anything. I started by getting an energy going between my hands and asking him to pass his hand between mine to see if he could feel anything. When I’d tried this before with him as a party trick he’d always professed not to be feeling anything. This time it was different, as soon as his hand passed between mine I felt a strong draw on my energies. He said “Hell I can feel that”. At that I stood back and tried to focus my mind on a solution. As I looked down at the floor I felt I was looking into a pit of despair the colours were swirling blacks, dark blues and greens. In the middle of all this was a man with his head in his hands. His position was such that I couldn’t see his full face for his hands. He was sobbing and repeating “it’s a Ba----d! it’s a F----ing! Ba----d! Ba----d! Ba----d!” I understood that this wasn’t directed at anybody, he was just describing his lot in life, or death if you like.
I told Alan what I was seeing and that I didn’t think this man was his brother as he didn’t look anything like him. He had a full head of hair and was built like a bull with broad shoulders and a massive neck. (Alan hair had thinned and he is slightly built) He replied “that’s our Shane alright, he was an ex rugby player, not that tall but very thick set and he still had his hair”.

Right mate lets get this lifted off you, I told Alan. I got him to sit on the settee arm so as I could stand behind him. I started to build an energy between my hands that came very fast and exceedingly strong. With my hands positioned over his lower back I moved my hands in a lifting motion up his back. By the time I’d got to around his head the energies were intense at this point psychically I could see Shane stood there apprehensively. I could see Barbra stood out to his side. In thought I addressed Shane by mentally saying, “Shane this is Barbra, she will look after you and take you where you need to go”. With this introduction done Shane became aware of Barbra’s presence. She approached him from the left mouthing reassurances. As nurses do she took his left hand with her left hand and placed her right hand under his elbow and started leading gently towards the wall. At this point Alan said in a voice that reflected his pure amazement “can you see that?” I told him yes, but not in the same way as you can. (I knew he was seeing it all visually with his eyes) I asked him to describe what he could see. He said I’ve just seen a child leading our Shane through the wall. With that I lifted my hands above his head and with a pop it was gone and all was back to normal. Turning to him I said actually that wasn’t a child, it was Barbra, she’s a very small and petite woman.

Alan was a changed man, back was the old sparkle and wit. I said “right mate lets go for a couple of pints and we wont talk about what’s just happened.

Over a couple of jars Alan was buzzing, we talked about cars, motorbikes, boats, aeroplanes and other big boys toys things. We kept away from the subject of the events of earlier until walking back from the pub just as I was going to get into my car. Alan said “I’m not going to take my medication tonight, the way I feel I just don’t need it”. I thought I ought to make my position clear saying, “look mate that can only be your decision, and yours alone”. He replied that he needed to be firing on all cylinders in the morning so sod it.
I rung him mid morning the following day, the way he answered the phone it was evident that he was still on a real high. He said he felt better than he had for years and was ready to get stuck into work again. He was going to see his therapist the next day to take back his medication and cease his treatment. I understand he didn’t tell the therapist the true reason for his return to mental stability. He felt if he had done he’d probably been carted away in a straight jacket.

We met up again a week or so later and he told me the details of the life of his brother Shane. Shane had been the apple of his father’s eye. He had been a keen sportsman and excelled Rugby Union player. He’d played at a high level and his involvement in the sport had opened a lot of doors socially for him. All in all he was the man to be seen with. In his early 30s Shane picked up an injury that abruptly curtailed his sporting career. He had been a man that nobody had a bad word for but was incredibly naïve. His better nature was taken advantage of throughout his life, he could never understand that people can and do lie to you. He’d ended up a very depressed and lonely man living alone, hitting the bottle and full of prescription drugs taken for his depression and physical ailments.

I understood the scenario of how he’d become stuck to Alan. He’d gone to bed boozed and drugged up in a pit of despair. When he awoke his body had died but he was still in a very dark place, no doubt unable to grasp what was going on and unable to see his way to the light or the ones that had come to collect him. Then Alan arrived to identify his body and Shane attached himself to his brother for some semblance of protection in this nightmare he was in. As Alan went about his normal life unaware as he was of his brother’s personality that he was carrying with him. It is easy to see how his bother’s despair was rubbing off on him and giving him this seemingly irrational depression that in reality was not his own. Evidence of this is the way that when Shane was released Alan’s depression lifted immediately and totally.

Some two months later one evening I was driving to a problem in a house when I felt Barbra’s presence in the car again. At first she wasn’t saying anything, I could just feel her there. I thought to myself “Oh I haven’t felt Barbra around since she came to take Shane over”. At that she said in a tongue in cheek way “Yes and I’ve been stuck with him ever since. He’s a very child like man”. The meaning I got with this message was the first part was just Barbara’s dry Nurse’s sense of humour. The second part was not to be confused with childish. Child like, meaning innocent and naive. Later that evening Barbra was able provide successful protection for a couple of children that were being troubled by a dark presence in their home.



Some months later I was visited by Shane’s spirit presence. This was a completely different man to the one I’d met with his head in his hands. He thanked me for the help I’d given him, and with pride and confidence told me that he was now working in rescue. I felt that the naivety that blocked his progress in the material world would be an excellent qualification in his present vocation.

As the years rolled on Alan moved on with his life, he didn’t often bring up the events of those 6 months keeping it close to his chest. He’d moved buying a cottage only about 3 miles from me. One Saturday he was having a small party that I attended.
At a social event I make a point of not ramming my belief’s down everybody’s throat. It’s not to some people’s liking I feel they can find it unnerving in threatening the boundaries of their perceived lives. As I circulated and chatted about the mundane things in life, a woman asked about my spiritual side. As we talked it was obvious she had some understanding of the subject. It was then I noticed that a mate of Alan’s called Mark was taking the piss. Mark is a bloke I only know slightly through Alan. He’s a retired teacher who had been working in the far east. My impression of him is one of those people who tries to come over on a higher intellectual level and belittle others. My first reaction was “if that supercilious prat doesn’t button it I’m going to lamp him one”. I then thought better of it, It isn’t the done thing at a social gathering.

My next inclination was to tell him some home truths on aspects of his life he would probably prefer to keep to himself. The funny thing is the gift I and others have, usually only gives you glimpses of aspects of others life’s. These glimpses make no sense in your own mind. But if you chuck a few snippets into a conversation with a complete non-believer, they take it that you know chapter and verse and panic. As appealing as it was to put this dick in his place I had to think better of it. The gift isn’t to be used to humiliate others. So I took the only option left to me, I bid my goodbyes and left. As I drove down the road I started to get the feeling of Shane’s presence. He wasn’t saying anything but I could feel indignation from him. Then a scene started to develop in my mind. It was Alan saying to Mark “you have to humour Tony sometimes” then them both laughing. I didn’t feel too indignant myself, I probably have more of a grasp of human nature than Shane. A bit like “The Emperors new clothes” people will follow like sheep rather than place themselves in line for ridicule.

Although I wasn’t slighted by Alan’s comments I decided I’d take him to task about them. The next time I saw him I chucked into the conversation “anyway what’s this you said to Mark about “having to humour me”? Alan didn’t know what to say. Then he looked at me and asked “who the hells been talking”. Who do you think, I replied. He grimaced and said “Shane” he always was a sh-- stirrer.

I couldn’t comment on Shane in life as I’d never known him then, but what I know of him now. I really like the bloke. I still go for a drink with Alan from time to time.

Sat here fascinated with an ear-to-ear grin reading this account, Tony.

Thank you for sharing another amazing story from your life and the people whom you have helped. I always learn something.

Tony!!!! So very very good to see you on the board again and to read another of your stories. I always find them educational and uplifting. Thank you.

jdf